(Host) “Do you ever have male guests on your show?”

(Katie) “I do not…it’s called Biz WOMEN Rock.”

(Host) “So, because I have a penis, I’m discriminated against.  Don’t you think that’s sexist?”

 

This is how my morning started last Friday.

 

I was interviewed on a local terrestrial business radio show and within the first few minutes, I was hit with this.  My friend, Topher, happened to be the guest host of the show…he’s someone I really like and respect in business.  He’s funny and wanted to make sure that the show and its 3 guests had a good time, weren’t too “formal” and just had fun together.  It wasn’t a surprise that he brought this up…he had let me know he wanted to touch on it.  But I figured I could address it, laugh it off and move on with the interview.

 

What ensued was a long conversation about discrimination, sexism and bashing women only groups that left my insides unsettled and ultimately – as the day passed – really fucking angry.

 

(you can watch full interview in the video at the end of this post)

 

To see if my emotions were out of line, I posted my thoughts and a link to the interview in my private Biz Women Rock Facebook Group.  Just to see if anyone else might see my point of view or show me another way of looking at things.

 

Thirty comments and 3 private unsolicited messages later…I realized I was not alone.

 

Here’s just a sampling of some of the comments I received…

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, I decided I wanted to address two things:

 

1) The topic of whether women-centered businesses and groups are discriminatory. 

2) Why this topic continues to be the center of conversation with the leaders of women-centered companies.

 

Let’s break this down using Biz Women Rock as an example.

 

Biz Women Rock is a company that provides resources for amazing business women all over the world.  One of those resources is a weekly podcast, where I have the privilege of interviewing phenomenal business women about their entrepreneurial journeys.

 

I made the decision early on to make the podcast for business women, featuring business women.  Mainly because I knew I needed a super niche (and, of course, I love business women!).  As any savvy business person can attest to, focusing on a niche is foundational to a company’s success.  Additionally, it didn’t really exist in the podcasting space when I launched.  There was only one other show that had the same model.  So, I figured…plenty of room for this niche, right?

 

In the beginning, I struggled with it a bit.  There are so many men out there who have great things to share with my female listeners!  And while that’s absolutely true, that’s not what my platform was.  It was women-centered, women-celebratory and women-focused.

 

That being said, I had made a conscious decision that I did NOT want my community or the podcast to be male-bashing or focused on a women vs. men attitude.

 

It IS possible to CELEBRATE something without being AGAINST its opposite.

 

 

So when I get asked the question, “why can’t I be on your podcast just because I’m a man?” my answer is simple.

 

Because it doesn’t fit my business model.  

 

Can men listen to my show?  Absolutely and they do all the time.

 

Can men sponsor my show?  Absolutely, because in the space of sponsorship and advertising, it’s in line with my business model to connect my community with resources that will be helpful to them.

 

Can men buy my course and my book?  Absolutely.

 

Can men join my private Facebook Group?  Nope.

 

Can men be a guest on my show?  Nope.

 

Topher made a comment about these niche-based groups being counterproductive to the forward movement of women.

 

“We’ll never get to that place of equality as long as there’s segregation…a women’s organization which doesn’t let men join them is actually counter-productive to the progress of women.”

 

I completely disagree and here’s why.

 

The purpose of women-centered business and groups is to provide a place or a service that is unique to the experience of being a woman. And guess what?

 

The experience of being a woman is NOT equal to the experience of being a man.

 

Men and women are not equal.

Gasp!  I can’t believe she just said that!

 

That’s right.  We are not equal.  We are different.  If we’re looking at the human experience just through the lens of gender, the experience of being a man in this world is simply different than the experience of being a woman.

In my opinion, it’s not better or worse…it’s…just…DIFFERENT.

(I’m sure some of you may argue that better/worse part).

 

Therefore, women-centered groups and businesses that focus on women are merely being GENIUS in their decision to meet the needs of their target market.

 

If women did not have a desire to be around other women, to connect with other women, to buy products and services that are just for women, then these businesses would not exist.  But they DO exist because because there’s a DEMAND for them in the marketplace.

 

Business 101: Supply the Demand in the Marketplace.

 

Now, I will back Topher up on what I really think he was trying to say.

 

If the primary purpose of a niche group is to degrade those who are not allowed to be a part of it and to rule themselves as superior, then yes…I think it is counterproductive to progress.

 

But, as Nerlan stated in her Facebook post above, that has never been within the culture of the Biz Women Rock community.  And I’ll argue that it’s not the motive of most niche groups!

 

There are plenty of…

• Men’s prayer groups
• Mommy meetups
• Bootcamp groups for high level athletes
• Realtor associations

…and so on whose purpose it is to bring together like-minded individuals…not to tout their superiority over anyone on the “outside.”

 

No group – and definitely no business – can be all things to all people!

 

Let’s finally address why this topic seems to keep coming up for women like me who are the leaders of women-centered groups and businesses.

 

Truthfully, I don’t have an answer for this.

 

The reason I got so angry as my experience marinated all day was because I was disappointed that the knowledge I was there to share was overshadowed by a topic I am not particularly interested in discussing.

 

End of story.

 

Do I think Topher meant any harm?  No.

 

Do I think he threw it out there for entertainment’s sake?  Sure.

 

Do I think I should have been compared to the KKK? (oh yes, he did).  Nope.

 

Do I think it ate up my time that I could have spent talking about cool business concepts and more interesting things?  Hell yeah.

 

All I know is that I’m not the only woman leader who has been forced to have this conversation.  And unfortunately I won’t be the last.

 

I could have decided to remain silent and “polite” about my experience, but I decided to post this because I obviously got the feedback that I wasn’t the only one who felt unsettled about this and I figured it’s about time we plow through the noise of bullshit conversations like these so we can get to talking about important stuff…you know, like business concepts on a show dedicated to business.  😉

Here’s the video of the interview.  19:00 minutes is where I come in.

 

 

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this!  And feel to share if you think it will benefit someone else!

 

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Disclaimer: I want to make sure you know that Topher and I are still good friends.  He is a tremendous business man who does a lot for the community here in our local area!  This article is not meant as an attack on him, but as a look inside the issues of women-only businesses and groups and how women leaders are met with this topic of conversation.  I would greatly appreciate your comments focusing on these issues instead of what you might think of the host.  Thank you!

 

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