Article written by Rosemary Nickel of Motivating Other Moms

 

Are you a mom with a business who’s struggling to get it all done? I haven’t met one who isn’t – or for that matter, who has!

 

Being a momprenuer is tough business in and of itself. Too often, we carry the weight of our companies (and our children) on our shoulders without asking for help. After all, we’re proud, successful, strong women! We can do it all, right?

 

We’re so proud, in fact, that we all have an innate fear of judgment. We fear that if we rely on others we’ll be perceived as weak, needy or incompetent. Yep, we all have that in our head at some point or another. While the fear of judgment may appear in different forms, it’s definitely on our minds.

What makes a successful momprenuer shine? Her ability to overcome that fear combined with her willingness to ask for help.

 

Have these thoughts ever crossed your mind?

 

• Other momprenuers are doing it without help, so why am I struggling? What’s wrong with me?
• If I ask for help I will be surrendering all control
• They can’t do it like I do
• It will take just as much work (or time) to tell someone what I want – as it will for me to do it myself
• I don’t know how to ask for help
• I don’t know where to start!

 

If they have, then you’re in luck! Here, I’ll go over some simple ways to ask for help, bank some extra time and ultimately add to your bottom line! Exciting, eh?

 

First, it’s important to address the biggest hurdle: HOW TO ASK FOR HELP

 

Most of us have never been taught to ask for help. We’ve been told to “stand on our own two feet” or to “pull up those bootstraps and get to work.”  While such a gung-ho attitude might work for a while, it’s unsustainable – we eventually burn out.

 

So, we learn to stand on our own two feet next to others who are doing the same. The problem? No one likes to feel indebted to someone else. It’s uncomfortable! We’re naturally self-preservationists. Power in numbers is a learned habit…one that takes a lot of practice to perfect.

 

We are so bad at asking for help, in fact, that we sometimes resort to pity tactics when we require assistance. Or we’ll wait until the last minute and make our burden someone else’s. Maybe we ask the wrong person, or perhaps the right person at the wrong time. Regardless, we find ourselves in these situations because it goes against our proud nature to ask for help.

 

Guess what? No one but YOU is considering how powerful you are – asking for help should not threaten or embarrass you, it should help you (as the term implies!). By asking someone for help, you’re actually empowering them. You’ll start to build a mutual respect for one another.

 

So, where do you start?

 

I suggest you make a list of all the things in your life where you could use help. Don’t be shy about the list! Go crazy!! DREAM!! If you dream of having a chef cook your meals at home, put that down! You may not get that right now, but don’t be surprised if a chef shows up at your door a few years from now!

 

Once you complete your list, prioritize the tasks you’ve written down. Then, take the top three tasks and make a list of the people who may be able to take care of these items for you or – at the very least – minimize the work that you do.

 

Here comes the hard part…ASK FOR HELP!

 

Here are some tips on asking for help:

 

1. Ask for what you want: Don’t be shy! While you may not get everything you ask for, it’s better than nothing at all!
2. Consider who you ask: Think outside of the box.
3. Pay attention to body language: Know when you’re asking too much.
4. Don’t micromanage!  Let them earn your trust. Reassign the task if it’s not working out.
5. Ask with confidence: Be sure to clearly communicate your needs.
6. Whenever possible, ask in person!
7. Be direct: If things aren’t going the way you expect, re-communicate your request in a respectful, but direct manner.
8. Consider what you can do in exchange for someone’s help: Make sure all parties are happy with the arrangement.

 

Now, for the particulars:

 

1. Assemble a Co-op Babysitting Group  

Get 2 – 4 moms together that you know, like and trust. This is especially good for moms with little ones. Here’s the idea: one mom takes the kids for half of the day, while the other moms work, run errands and get things done. The babysitting should be done free-of-charge on a rotational basis. Be sure to keep money out of the equation to avoid muddying any friendships.

 

Google “How To Set Up A Babysitting Co-op” to learn how to do this. There are all kinds of great articles out there to help kick off your group! Don’t go down the rabbit hole! Two or three articles should be enough inspiration to get you started.

 

*I suggest you use this time exclusively for business. I know, it’s tempting to grab coffee with a girlfriend, but don’t. While I am a HUGE proponent of self-care, it’s important to take advantage of this time to grow your business. Invest in your business now and your time for coffee dates will come!

 

Worried about all the organization this will take? It could be maddening and, well, time consuming! Luckily, there’s an App to the rescue! Check it out and save your self some sanity! http://usitisit.com/

 

2. Carpool

Sick of spending your valuable time in a line-up at the school? You may want to consider carpooling with other moms. Although, this means giving up control of your kids to someone else. Some may have a problem with this (RAISING MY HAND!!) But, it’s important to note that there can be a lot of gains.

 

Consider this: Let’s say you make $100 an hour coaching (use what ever your value is for your time). You would LOVE to bring on a couple of extra clients but don’t have the time. If someone else picks up your kids, you could pick up those clients. That’s a few hundred dollars a week – not too shabby!

 

What can that extra $300 – $400 do for your business? Could you use it to hire an assistant to free up even more of your time? Could you put it toward your monthly bills? What about adding to your vacation savings account? Is that worth trading out carpooling?

 

If you are a car seat safety fanatic like I am, then you’re going to have to layout some rules up front. You’ll need to ask the other mom or moms what their stance is on car seat safety and what you expect of one another. It’s better to address this upfront than to have your friend pull up in your driveway with your five year old in the passenger front seat and no seat belt. [insert heart attack here]

 

Here’s a cool carpool app that could be helpful to keep track of school and extra curricular activities: https://carpool-kids.com/

 

3. Dinner Swap

Find a few neighbors that are willing to trade out making dinners for each other. Here’s the idea: while you’re cooking dinner for your family, simply make one or two extra meals for your neighbors. If you do this for two neighbors, you’ll have pre-made meals for two days out of the week! Dinner swaps are perfect for those nights when you don’t have time to make dinner! Once you’re all comfortable with the schedule and each others’ meals, you can make special meal requests. Don’t be afraid to tell your neighbor how much you and your kids love their meatloaf. Everyone enjoys a compliment!

 

4. Hire Help!

You have to INVEST in your business if you want to make money. Sorry, but there is no way around it. What are your biggest time zappers? What do you hate doing? What tasks keep you from moving forward in your business and keep you from making money? These are the tasks you want to outsource to a virtual assistant.

 

To learn more about hiring a virtual assistant, check out this book by Chris Ducker. It will save you time and help you understand exactly what you need to ask of a VA.

 

Asking for help will increase your bottom line

 

We all have unfinished projects at home or at work that can be finished off quickly if we ask the right person for help. It’s all a matter of overcoming our fear of judgment, and respecting and trusting that person to get the job done well.

 

Don’t let your unfinished projects eat away at you. Ask for help and get them done so that you can focus your energy on the projects that can make you money now.

 

Imagine how great it will feel to check those items off of your list. Imagine how strong your relationships will be with your trusted staff and your newly supportive momprenuer friends. Imagine how much space in your mind and physical space you would have. Imagine increasing your bottom line.

 

All you have to do is ask for help.

 

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Rosemary Nickel is a mom of two and the founder of Motivating Other Moms, a community of supportive business women that provides resources to support other mompreneurs.  You can check out her website and her podcast at MotivatingOtherMoms.com.