“I’m Not Good Enough” 5 Steps to Getting Out of Self-Doubt and Into Action
“I’m not good enough.”
Do you ever hear this voice in your head?
Or perhaps you can distill those fears and hesitations you’ve been feeling in your business down to this statement or something similar? Maybe it’s more like…
“I’m not as good as she is…”
“I can NEVER do things right!”
“I have a confidence issue.”
Most of the business women I know live with some percentage of this nasty thing called SELF DOUBT.
And let’s be straight – WE’RE SMART…and we totally get that self doubt is stupid and pointless and non-productive.
But knowing that doesn’t necessarily mean that this voice disappears.
KNOWING that doesn’t mean that we don’t have moments that completely stop us because self doubt has overtaken us.
I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH has pretty much been my operating drive since I was a kid. It’s only now that I can identify that, but it’s true.
And looking back, I can see that there were MANY GOOD PARTS of this.
- It’s what drove me to become a star athlete.
- It’s what drove me to achieve academically and get college scholarships.
- It’s what made me dig my heels in and grow a start up business that grew into a big local success!
Despite these good things, the downsides have been plentiful and destructive…
- I regularly went into moments – sometimes days – of inactivity because I was overtaken with the depression of my own self-doubt.
- I stopped sharing and creating (programs, podcasts, emails, personal stories, videos) because I was so self-conscious about what people would think.
- I stifled my own financial, personal and spiritual growth because I doubted myself.
Self doubt is just plain UGLY.
But you know what? WE ALL HAVE IT! It doesn’t mean we’re not confident women, it just means we have moments where it pops up.
And when it rears its ugly head, there are a few things you can do to get it the HELL OUT – all while getting the BEST PARTS of what it has to give to you.
1. Speak Your Thoughts.
Once you hear those doubting thoughts in your head, two things will happen: 1) You’ll start to see how ridiculous and horribly nasty those thoughts are and they will lose their power. And 2) you will start to see solutions right away. You will start to see all the GOOD things you have, all the things you have to be grateful for! I have literally been speaking into my voice memo recorder on my iPhone (a tool I use when I just want to speak stuff out!) while I’ve been walking and stopped myself mid-sentence with, “Katie, you are being absolutely ridiculous! Look at all the things you have to be grateful for right now!” And then I verbally will list those things out.
2. Call Upon Your Support System.
Reach out to a few people in your inner circle – your spouse, your best friend, your sibling, your business coach – and tell them what you’re feeling. Oftentimes, we just need someone else to remind us of how amazing we are and that what we’re doing is making an impact! These are the folks who love you no matter what and will immediately tell you how ridiculous you’re being and how awesome you are. 😉 (which is what you need to hear).
3. Turn Your Attention Onto Others
Truthfully, self doubt is SELFISH…on many levels. For example, self-doubt keeps you in your own inner world, feeling a constant sense of “poor me.” It also keeps you out of your light! It keeps you from truly stepping into your full potential (psychologically, this is self doubt being the manifestation of the fear you have to really live in your light!). Turn your attention onto those awesome people around you. Send gifts to clients. Make the time to have long phone conversations with your family and friends. Send gratitude cards to anyone who happens to be in your thoughts. Just give and watch how quickly your focus on your own fears diminishes.
4. Write Into Your Beautiful, Confident Future
I’m a big believer in journaling and one of the “writing prompts” I do quite often is “writing into the future.” I pick a moment in time and write a paragraph or two describing what I’m feeling in that moment as if it’s already happened. For example, as you’ll hear in the Facebook Live below, I was absolutely terrified to give my keynote presentation at Podfest Multimedia Expo recently. About an hour before my talk, I did this exercise. I wrote as if I had just finished my talk and giving gratitude for the incredible impact it had on people, for how easily and powerfully the content flowed from me, for the calmness and confidence I felt during the presentation that allowed my message to come across so well, for all the attendees who came up to me afterwards thanking me for the information! I wrote as if all of this had already happened! This exercise accomplishes two things. 1) It allows me to create the details of the future I want and 2) it shifts my mindset from fear and self-doubt to power and confidence!
5. TAKE ACTION!!!!
Action is the antidote to self-doubt. Bottom line. There is NO FASTER WAY to obliterating feelings of self-doubt, fear or lack of confidence than taking a small step (which will turn into another small step, which will turn into many small steps, and so on and so on) directly into that thing you’re fearing the most! If there’s one thing I am so dang proud of, it’s that I have gotten really good at taking action, trying something I don’t feel confident about…I’m willing to look stupid, do it all wrong and not be perfect at it. And THIS is a total differentiator, girl! When you’re willing to do this – show up imperfectly, launch something that completely fails, look ridiculous at something you’re doing for the first time – you are flexing your TAKING ACTION muscle, which gets you used to leveraging the momentum of movement! The more you take action, the less time you have to feel afraid.
Here’s the truth…we will always have moments of self-doubt. We will always have instances where our confidence is nowhere to be found. Your job is to get out of these moments as fast as possible so you can go on living into your BIG LIFE…the life of your dreams that dictates that you’re building an incredible business bringing in lots of revenue and helping tons of people. A life where you feel fulfilled and purpose-driven. A life that has you excited and energized to get up every single day!
Sending you tons of love in these moments!
PS: Every time you TAKE ACTION even while you are doubtful and not sure, it’s a REVOLUTION!!!!! You are being an example to other women – to your peers, your employees, your daughters, your nieces, your sisters, your mothers, your clients and customers – that you can live the life of your dreams! You inspire another woman to step into her fears and do the same! And together…we all rise up!!!!!!!
PPS: Want a push to get you past your frozen moment? Want some quick ideas on how to grow?
Register here for a totally free 25 minute strategy session with me to pick my brain and get you into action! http://bizwomenrock.com/